April

In a dark and starless space stood 12 bastard children of Year. That elusive block of space, before the advent of time, that is meant to be filled with accomplishments carefully planned out at the beginning. With increasing volatility of markets, human relationships and other bio-hazards, it had become increasingly difficult to do so. Year, then, had prayed to the heavens and begotten 12 issues, each a special-purpose-vehicle to make life easier for Man. Easier said than done. As soon as the 12 kids, or months, as they would be known later, were old enough they began to quarrel. Some like December and January complained they were perpetually cold, others were jealous of March, who always smelt of fresh flowers even when he wet his diapers. June, on the other hand was always perspiring and thought this..er.. uncool. July was always fist-fighting August for supremacy, and usually lost unless the latter was afflicted by the conjunctivitis virus, which seemed quite often. September was into action sports while October was a pessimistic child filled with dark forebodings of the future. November was a bit of a cipher, neither here nor there, a bit like February. And ALL wanted to consume Man. That brings us to April. Even in his youth, April would never cease to be a kill-joy. March would have been a lot happier and June a lot cooler, had it not been for April. When April inhaled, the sweet perfume would vanish from March. When he exhaled, he would unleash a fire so fierce that June would sweat profusely. It is said that he even played tricks on September and November, repeatedly stealing or breaking their toys, biting and kicking at them and even causing mistrust amongst the others by spreading vicious rumours. When the months were 15, Year was desperate. The anarchy that was prevailing amongst his kids was more of a hindrance than an assistance to Man. Man was especially confused when he assigned some activity to February, only to see it stolen by April and then re-gifted to November on his birthday party. It was getting too complicated and uncontrollable. Now a New Year, full of resolution, struck a compromise with his kids. They agreed that each would get an equal measure of Man’s attention. Each month would take the stage for approximately an equal amount of space and then leave to make way for the next month. Additionally, the sequence in which they took the stage would not change, bringing about a modicum of constancy. This win-win event, sometimes known as “Deal of the Year” seemed to work and has been working ever since (or so I have heard). The months are all grown-ups now but have retained their basic characteristics, which, as we all know, do not change with space. One especially wonders about April, how did the naughty boy turn out as an adult? Well, he is still not the nicest. When he gets up on stage, he makes Man do his taxes. And ever angry at being number 4, he has convinced Year's Bengali and Tamil incarnations to get the top spot.