A Shakti Kapoor Tribute

I was really appalled when I bumped into a website recently that had a list of the top villains in bollywood. It had reference to a slew of bad-asses ranging from Gabbar Singh (Amjad Khan) to Mogambo (Amrish Puri) with Lotiya Pathan (Kiran Kumar) and Dilawar (Danny Denzongpa) thrown in for good measure. Alas, what a sorry state of affairs it is when a man of the bountiful talents of Shakti Kapoor can be ommitted from so scintillating a list. May I remind the reader that Shakti Kapoor arguably boasts the most unforgettable villain part in the last millenium...as Crime Master Gogo (Andaz Apna Apna). And I happen to be a bit of an expert on Shakti Kapoor (amongst other equally important topics), so I can also say with some conviction that he has had some of the finest villain names in the industry. None finer than "Auto Kesariya", a real gem from "Raavan Raj". One can argue that "Chhappan Tikli" or "Langda Tyagi" are good names as well but Auto Kesariya beats them hands down! Because unlike the other names, this one just begs the question: whatever the fuck can it remotely suppose to mean?.... so cool, so cool! Speaking of which I know there is another Gulshan Grover part that is called "Manual Kesariya", though I cannot recall the movie. And I know for fact another guy in my college called Sam, who used to also go by "Punjabi Kesariya" before he was first christened Sumanth and then Sam. (He will also claim another appointed epithet, "Ravindrasarma", but I think he may be lying about this last one, I mean how can one person that has never done villain roles in movies possibly have so many names, each a trifle more bizzarre than the previous one?).

Coming back to Shakti Kapoor, it is not just his screen names that have intrigued me. He also has the most amazing "Takiya Kalaams", or "pet phrases" ever written or voiced. In more than one movie where he has played a no-goody-good, he has punctuated his sentences remarkably with a phrase that goes "Aaaoooooooooooooooh!!", culminating in a nasal finale that makes it sound positively orgasmo-ridiculous. Only he can pull this off with such aplomb. Not to mention his classic repeating phrase from "Guru" in the early 90s...before saying anything at all, he'd preface it by saying " Panna Lal Panni!! Double Horse Power!!!".. I mean I put it to you..Is he awesome or is he awesome?